Why?

The One Lord has come down to Earth
What are we to do?
The One Lord walks amongst us,
Striding tall for such a short being
What are we to do?
He smiles the smile of love
Awaking us to possibilities
Hastening us to Oneness
What are we to do?
Time rolls on,
We waste and want in vain
Never really knowing what to want
But wanting nevertheless
Happiness? Longevity? Riches?
Who wants wisdom?
Street smarts is in, wisdom out of vogue
What are we to do?
He assails us with love, we want miracles
He besets our mind with wisdom
We want trinkets
What are we to do?
Somewhere down the line we will want what He wants
Where is the line and when is somewhere?
If we could only do what he wants
Life would be great, life would be life
But what does he want?
And what we to do?
Trouble in the world, death, disaster, dreariness
Trouble in our minds, care, corruption and callousness
Trouble inside, trouble outside
What are we to do?
A loving hand, arm of faith, He offers everyone
We set conditions that he won’t meet
Trifles we seek and riches He offers
Yet we know not what he gives, what He offers
Times are changing, ways falling by the wayside
Time ticks on, hastening our demise
He walks alone, none to accompany Him
Berated, loved, accused, wanted,
He walks alone, alone on a path he chose.
Who will walk with Him, in His footsteps,
Matching His stride, becoming God?
Who will master His example, go where he dwells,
Take what He offers, make Him his own?
Who will become the iron that reaches for His magnet?
The gold purified in His crucible?
Love is such a wonderful word, never really understood
Lust is what we all feel, love more a forlorn feeling
Yearn we must, but for whom?
What are we to do?
Yearn for God, what is God, where is God?
I look inside and see blackness, with points of light.
Which is God, the light or the darkness?
What is me inside, not the me outside?
I seek, I soar, I plummet and fall
Never knowing where I am
What is there to do – it should be easy
This way to God – why is it difficult, going home?
Why is going home so hard to do?
Why shouldn’t it be the easiest thing to do?
God is out father, our mother, our kin
Yet why all the need for austerities, the sadhnas?
Don’t tell me it is just the way it should be done.
Who is to say why it should be done thus and not another way?
I want to be able to slip into my home without giving notice,
Without begging to be let in, without having to ask to be let in
It should be my right, as man who is God
Mulling in meditation, my mind wanders.
I am told harness the mind to better things –
What better things?
I am told yearn for God
Define God
I am God, why can’t I just go home
Where is home?
Inside me, in that pitch blackness of nothing,
Or in the points of lights that threaten to go out if you concentrate too much
Mind wanders, all is infatuation, great!
Is my love for God an infatuation also?
Then what is this thing called love?
Mere affection shifted from the world to God?
Define God
And what is the outcome of this shift,
Affection for God, positing all the feelings of the world
Onto a chimera that we are unable to define?
Is Sai a chimera, as is the world?
Then what be His purpose? His raison d'etre?
His modus operandi can be understood but His reason behind doing it?
Why has He come? Are we in deep trouble?
Trouble of whose making? Where is the Golden Age?
Why the strife before the goodness? Is it an integral part of this life?
Why can’t we all be just good to start off with?
I was a rock, what sins/mistakes did I commit to have this life?
What did fate weave for me that I am who I am now?
What harm did I do as a vegetable, did I sin as an animal?
I was just following my dharma then, what made me into a human?
Being a human is a bad thing, I had to meander around for many lives
Before the thought of God was generated into me?
And now I meander, hopelessly, yearning for God
Who stands apart, aloof, waiting for me to make all the moves.
One step from me, then He will take 10 from His side?
Why won’t He cuddle me, He who says He is my mother, my father?
Why is he waiting for Me to make a move?
Have I not been moving all this while?
Where was He when I was committing those sins
That shoved me further away, drew up this barrier between me and Him?
Busy? With what? Making the world go round?
Manning the lights for the cosmic highway? Directing the traffic?
Grow up God, You want us, come get us
Why put us through this misery we call life to purify us.
All is God, what is there to purify, what is there to work towards?
Open up the gate, we stand waiting to enter, whatever it is that needs to be entered
Or become, whatever it is we will become.
There are so many obstacles to You, Sai. Why?
Who put this obstacles in my path, Me?
I don’t think so. I don’t believe so. I will not believe so.
Why would I, moving towards God, choose to plant pitfalls
Rather then a highway to Godhead?
Maya should be the great helper in our move (I won’t call it a quest) to You
Not the harridan she is made out to be
I stopped reading Kabir when he called Maya a harlot
Is she? Why would she be so? I see no reason whatsoever.
The defect, if any, resides in you, My Lord.
You have kept us at arms length, teasing us, playing with us.
In Your Olympian stance, you have not yearned for us
And yet you want us to yearn for you.
You say you want devotees yet we can never get close
You won’t let us: we are not pure enough, we are not good enough
And now we are not God enough
What other obstacle course will you have for us
When we somehow trip over and come clambering after You this time?
My road is mapped and I believe this life is going to waste
I can’t be noble, I can’t be selfless, I can’t be honourable
Although I want it with all my heart
I want riches, for myself, and for others. This can’t be selfish
Why would the world wallow in money and I wallow in misery
What goodness can come from misery? From tragedy?
Is it the fear that makes us good – not the need to be good?
What kind of goodness is this, that is based on fear?
Fear of punishment by karma, fear of God getting angry?
Is earth nothing but a penal colony, wrought to work out the sins of man?
Where is the love You promised? That You forever hold out to us?
Hold out on us?
What are we to do?
What steps to take? The ones prescribed by You promises something
If only we do so many things, follow the rigid rules
Why can’t we love, in the way it is promised?
My sadhna is pitiful, why won’t You come rushing to help me along?
Too soon? When will it be the right time?
When the life has gone out of me, my eyes are dimmed, my mind numb,
my brain fouled with life? Why do You even let this happen? This so called foulness that creeps in over lifetimes, why allow it to happen at all?
Was I better off as a rock, maybe a vegetable, an animal?
They do not sin, their dharma is set,
What man was I to even start incurring sin, what did I do wrong
That I now have to pay for it? Why am I paying for something that you did?
You set it in motion, you prodded and pondered, you set the outcomes
Why must I pay for it?
I want out, I want to go back to where I came from.
This individuality must go, if not
This misery must go.
I want to be happy, content, doing what is natural
What is natural? Everything seems alien, I can’t do anything that gives me happiness
Why can’t I be happy, especially since God walks the Earth?